Shape Shifter

Shape shift, as if to decide I am unlike any other. The calm beneath my wings ignites my need to fly. As the wind takes control I lose the idea of containment. Cage me not, I am free. I surrender to the benevolent silence that one once controlled the idea of I. The wind is incorrigible. Ravished and tortured my wings can no longer guide me. Silent inception, my body rips away it’s feathered carcass only to burrow into the afterlife. Am I death, am I reincarnation, am I forgiveness, am I solitude, Am I you? 

Pixels

I’d crawl into yesterday to feel the laughter you raged from within. The moment within seconds of forever now seems all too soon. Where has the sun set and why did the sky erupt into a millions pixels? How can one possibly separate the then and now? Today, I will myself to accept the indifference of how I wage war on time and perception and Tomorrow my undiscovered soul bleeds to breath. I cannot hear my tears or touch my sadness. I am conviction, bare to the world; connect I must. Live I have.

Today

Is it weird to be so loved and so incredibly lonely at the same time? I’m lost inside myself beyond words and so desperate to be unconditionally loved! Why do I give so hard and accept so little…..

It’s been awhile

That moment when you get all dolled up, pretty little dress combined with that feeling of inner and outer beauty; and you wait, and wait and ultimately realize that you are waiting for something that doesn’t exist. I am so tired of expectation and excuses. My tears have fallen one too many times, and yet I’m still sitting here in my pretty little dress while my makeup runs down my face. I am angry with myself for the optimistic nature in which I place on people whom have never really earned that honor. I am fragile, yet consistent, nor am I perfect, but I am honest and giving. And as much as I want to stop all that makes the attributes of good in me, me, I can’t stop. This is everything I’ve ever understood. Anything different would be incomprehensible…

I smile so no one knows how broken I am. I laugh sometimes to convince myself I’m happy. I carry super glue just in case I start to crumble. I haven’t slept in days. Every morning I pray for change and when it doesn’t happen I keep praying. I have faith that this is just my moments obstacle…

12-14-12

I am the enemy of my own thoughts. I think life is unbreakable and I am untouchable, but this lie within my sanity seems to be insane. To believe that we want to cure disease, create a better generation and live an existence of abundance is truth told through fables and imagination. For my heart is not solid in form, it’s corroded from the tears my soul has surrendered. This pain, your pain, our pain was unwarranted. And for that my questions will never be answered. Once again a perpetual cycle of “goodbye” from a distance…

It seems as tho…

It seems as though I am loved deeply and momentarily, then suddenly set free. Never have I envisioned the bird within myself and now I ask what wings may I rely on to guide me…?

…

I am loved and left with only words of promise to remember you by……

Actions of Tolerance

Today I embody the shell of unbreakable and for that I am numb. I could tell a thousand lies and none of them would bare any resemblance of truth. I’ll live within the walls of the mannequin I call safety. Barely able to breathe I have been swallowed by self resistance and pure ignorance. For I am ignorant to believe that I am different. I am not different nor special, I am the satisfaction that has succumbed to your craving. I am still hungry, so I ask you, who will feed me the lies that have kept me content for so long?

Because you should